writing and hypomania

Back to thinking about my week of frenetic writing. I think I definitely had enough of the criteria for a hypomanic episode. Elated mood, decreased need for sleep, increased involvement in goal directed activity (writing to get read and published online and to make money), irritable (especially when my boyfriend tried to get me away from my computer), subjective experience of thoughts racing (flight of ideas), pressured writing (pressured speech), overconfidence (inflated self esteem).

I was staying up most of the night writing, and writing most of the day. I normally don't write much and it takes a lot of effort. This didn't. I had so many ideas, and I had to write them all down. And other people had to read them! I thought that my ideas were very important. I thought I was great for writing this stuff. I thought I could make lots of money. I just had to keep writing. I didn't miss sleeping, I felt energised. I didn't think it was weird or unusual at the time, but it is looking back on it.

It could have just been me getting an idea in my head and getting excited about it. But it's the lack of a need for sleep, and the fact that it was so unlike me, that makes it stand out.

After I stopped writing my thoughts were still racing a bit, then I went on abilify. I thought it was great at first, my mood was great and I had so much energy. Then it just made me so anxious and agitated.

Risperidone calmed me down a bit. I didn't take it yesterday, and last night I was so agitated. Today I feel like I really could just lie in bed. The agitation might come later, though.

It was weird not waking up at 3am. I woke up at 7. I think 6 or 7 is a good time for me. The early waking was obviously just caused by abilify and has stopped now.

My normal pattern is staying up late. If, like in the week I was describing, I don't feel like I need much sleep, I can still get up in the morning and have energy. Otherwise, I just want to sleep all day.

I had such a good time just having coffee with friends last night. It's good to know that I have such good friends who will really support me.